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When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date me. I thought I wasn't pretty enough. But then I got to Ault and first of all, I'm not really friends with any guys. And then, with you this year, I thought, if Cross will keep hooking up with me, maybe I'm okay after all. But time passed and I never became your girlfriend. And so then I thought, not only was I wrong, but my life turned out to be the opposite of what I expected. Meaning, it wasn't my appearance--that's not the bad thing about me. It's my personality. But how do I know which part? I have no idea. I've tried to think about if it's one thing in isolation or everything together, or what can I do to fix it, or how can I convince you. Then I thought, maybe it is my looks, maybe I was right before. And I never figured it out. Obviously, I didn't. But I've spent a lot of time this year trying. And the reason I'm telling you all this is that I want you to know no one in my life has ever made me feel worse about myself than you. Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

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When I was in junior high I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys and boys would say Oh you re so great but they wouldn t date me I thought I wasn t pretty enough But then I got to Ault and first of all I m not really friends with any guys And then with you this year I thought if Cross will keep hooking up with me maybe I m okay after all But time passed and I never became your girlfriend And so then I thought not only was I wrong but my life turned out to be the opposite of what I expected Meaning it wasn t my appearance that s not the bad thing about me It s my personality But how do I know which part I have no idea I ve tried to think about if it s one thing in isolation or everything together or what can I do to fix it or how can I convince you Then I thought maybe it is my looks maybe I was right before And I never figured it out Obviously I didn t But I ve spent a lot of time this year trying And the reason I m telling you all this is that I want you to know no one in my life has ever made me feel worse about myself than you Curtis Sittenfeld Prep

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